adamantine

i’m feeling in my skin

and beneath it.

constantly updated

refreshed.

intense. in this tense.

action in response

tank in thanks

simplicity in honesty

here to share my

heart with you.

i can feel the world now

because i choose to 

embrace my darkness

facing the world from a place of

simultaneous age and youth.

speaking up for myself

from a place of 

gratitude and thanks.

you light up the parts of myself 

from which i was hiding.

air in hair.

this mud which once 

covered my lungs

now my fertilizer.

adamantine.

from rage to charge

from suppressed to seed.

embodying.

integrity with my emotions

this energy moves. 

in the midst of this chaos

i am whole.

diving

i am because you are

learning to be real with you

so that you can be real with me.

learning to trust the moment

to feel 

instead of

swallowing it down.

learning to feel to know.

depending in independence

in deepening

in the deep end

bringing up bubbles

for me to reflect on.

vitality

steadying my heart in chaos

pump and kin in pumpkin.

golden rollerblades

milky way

mosquitos swarm around 

stagnant liquid.

the many eyes in the 

peacock feather

learning to see 

with my heart.

i act with my eyes, 

my body, 

my hands,

my ears.

this season of truth

is a becoming flower.

simmering moon honey

present in presence

this learning in love is 

constant.

how am I? I am. I am feeling.

on and is in vis I on

emerge in emergency

i’m returning to myself.

respecting my water, 

my body, 

my emotions.

no good or bad, 

just my truth. my reality. my heart.

i am a choice

life’s choice.

from was to wash

a feeler, a painter 

in a living dream.

a dish of sweet, sour, 

bitter, salty and umami.

i am what lies 

between these tastes.

love in glove

all in call.

i choose to stay colorful

to feel my emotions.

waiting to be dispersed

this which i can feel, 

i can hear,

i can heal

and this growth is positive.

window

window. wind down. wind up.

from scared to sacred.

in this playground

you are my teacher.

coruscating.

we fly together.

my own dictionary

my own story.

eye tree you

stream. smear

community. come unity. unity is coming. 

come unitea. unit. tie.

life is as 

a maze sing as i choose to live it.

forgive. for giving. giving for.

inhale in healing

frequen see

bull in lullaby.

dynamic dynamite.

sure in pressure.

nori in honoring

very disco in discovery

eye tree you.

singing

healthy connection

new me.

knew me

knowing. 

moving involvement

stress to light

response empowers

digest with feet

i key

blind me to see clearly.

life funny

serious

and in-between.

uprising

up rise sing.

pressure throws me off track

returning to now

to keep going. 

sphinx moths

hawk.

sphingidae

somatic

osmosis.

missing

sing

in touch

touching.

soular eclipse

smelling skin

life smells fear

life smells love

love and life in skin.

massage

message.

sour hours

clock locks

recreate

congratulate

my own monster 

my own moonstar.

sea through

grounded to fly

accepting you for you

to accept me for me.

moon tide

truth is real is now is love is safe

lies unreal and aching.

streaming

pipeline

spinning wheel

tea eat

time emit.

loading 

retreat

treat

detox toxin

dance in guidance.

parachute

partly cloudy

chance of rain.

gather

her.

clearing my path.

parachute

steam

plucked up

masks as a game of

hide and seek.

all here for me.

ram 

Mars.

flipped right side up.

222

peek. a boo.

was lost

now finding.

sulfuric

see you when you are 

ready to see me

you are my eyes.

eye see the you

which does not see me

eye see the you

which sees me.

icu.

 

born anew

each moment.

reunite

real estate

you in youth.

 

soil. 

oils.

i am not the you 

which does not see me

yet i am with you.

 

difficulty breathing

now with water. 

skin lungs.

sulfuric.

 

incognito

ignite

into.

 

evolve in love

therapy

appearing.

 

scales itch

believe. be a live.

from evil to live.

 

ointment

child.

clean home.

 

release

ease

see. 

strawberry moon

i am child 

deer

a living prayer.

you are my love

my love is yours.

scales.

my unreal self died

now i’m in my eden.

ancient

water i carry.

delicate rose

deep yellow.

born each moment

hot strawberry full moon.

fear in judgement

trust myself.

head follows heart

art ahead.

buzzing bee

unlimited

my own instruction permit.

i eat peace

peace my tea.

stirring water

the heart

the seed

the wing

an earthworm. 

a horse. 

from tied down

to high tide

2 in 1 

1 in 2

care

rake

1 in 2 in 3 in 4.

my own foam

i in keep

peek

wake 

we 

awake.

rumble

quake

u

a

e.

numb to

out numbered.

enwish ion.

inner drum

hymn

stop to pots.

shellfishly kind

a leopard slug

crackling for myself

true nature

nature true

truth in nature.

explorer

cutting away

i feel your stirring water

a string.

you my mirror

me in you

so hot, cold

numb.

numbers.

ma, mamma

yum

purr.

water binds us

magnetic

space ship

ship space

pace.

ace.

chia goop.

for see

jury-rig

ruthless

march to charm

pain is power.

thunderbird

love my shield

labels vanish.

removing

inner judgement

i can really live.

this the

simplicity

of a light heart.  

i have nothing to say

except everything.

seeing past moments

as mistakes

pull me backward.

thunderbird

jumping into

the cold ocean

bravery 

removes pain.

from no to on

a kite.

from tame to wild

a flame.

stones

i had to move backward

before moving forward

my invitation

i the key.

continuously unlocking myself

digging up 

2 in 1 

star has 5 points

this i 8

you my teacher.

life we are in 

together and alone.

rocks outside my heart

now it is light.

blind to lies

recycling my cycle

powered by cleaning.

i belong to everything

nothing belongs to me.

sailing. gliding. 

body’s pain is soul crying.

present tense is love

tension to present is pain.

tension pain.

present love.

i hear you in me

echo

scrubbing mind for full heart.

eye in heart

life sings in me

eye in we

an animal.

action

the ocean my bath

see in sea

silver fish returning.

panic attacks shake the heart

i had to separate myself 

from you 

to find me

to find you.

elastic

ecstatic

i instand now

confiding inside

my own movie

in motion.

i feel you pain

malleable.

overcoming fear to 

meet you.

a death of gray society

in my mind.

pop. pop. 

i am with you

chirping

yin and yang

eye in we.

we in eye.

you me we

we me you

me you we.

web spinning

from lockdown to unlock

full.

inner lotion

now home

i here

feeding destination.

inner lotion 

hearing myself.

in out

out in.

everything on

words whispering.

a grain of sand

a snake.

pain down

keep heart

alive for you

flow matters. 

whispering home

caseous.

i am you

lies say I am not

truth is here

feeding this inner fuel.

inner tears of joy

this salt is my lotion

to relate to you is to flourish

hearing you to hear myself.

inside out

outside in

this is the destination.

no more need to

prove

i am everything.

words as manifestation

the wind whispers

these lightning eyes 

electricity.

unclothing myself

a grain of sand

no good or bad

just sensing.

an octopus

a crab

a snake.

bodily pain signals me

to slow down

keep moving forward

the heart’s pain

awakens me.

offering myself

art now

release down

remnants to steadiness

living process

i explode.

this moment remains

constant love

i am here

the birds for harmony.

in understanding

love jingles

this is freedom

i can now just be.

i can see through you

in the heart’s steering wheel

life melting bodily pain.

i belong to this starry liquid universe.

buckled for the ride.

floating in the river

a galactic concoction.

a snail in raw honey

art is my offering

my ex-voto

i offer myself to life.

created and creating.

release what i was or it will

consume me.

dust flying in space

when uncertain, i slow down.

 

remnants of fear 

sifting 

away from my body

returning to myself

moment to moment

this thread the only steadiness.

 

hidden for so long

opening up

processing my process.

 

i see myself in you

a constant explosion.

moments as bubbles

only truth remains.

 

life measured by love.

i wished and felt myself here.

singing bird

harmony. 

 

love heals 

jingles.

it is free

freedom.

 

i my compass

strengthening

delighting in the journey.

now i can just be.

 

beauty in everything 

the heart my steering wheel.

 

life’s core essence

thinking tires and ties.

flowering flame

heart presence melting bodily pain.

 

a starry liquid milkiness

spun seaweed seeds.

love is life’s language

buckled for the ride.

 

floating in slow motion

we are one

instead of life passing me by

now the river.

 

galactical dishwasher

existence sparkles

salty tears

constantly bathed

a concoction.

fathom an iridescent Spell on time

deeply pressed, suffocated and craving

this loss urges me to continuously

meet myself 

and reconnect with 

home. 

 

healthy boundaries 

created through radical self-care

living the dream i’m creating

moving beyond superficial comfort 

to find 

connection.

 

taking control of my actions to 

overcome anxiety.

reconnecting disconnected wires

slowly stepping into a new me.

 

not feeling seen by the world, 

i search for myself

and the world sees me anew.

 

my body feels and knows the 

truth.

this abundance. 

 

resistance transformed to acceptance

rising from fear

through learning that

i am a process. 

 

moving toward my essence through

involvement.

releasing and expressing 

to stay healthy

healing through pausing

i face this pain. 

 

breathing into a new existence

i inhale love

befriending time. 

 

stress is a heavy, unwanted blanket

in a pandemic cocoon

actions root me in the mud

so that i can reach for the

light. 

 

desiring this moment and its 

infinite possibilities

this chaos has purified me

and given me new eyes. 

 

the sun burning within my heart

spiders, bees, dandelions and honey

freeing myself

my masculine sun showing up

for my feminine moon.

 

a moth flying through silky starlight

weaving and dreaming with my heart

moment to moment.

 

responding creatively to 

continuous uncertainty

this is energizing and empowering.

 

cloud iridescence

fire rainbows.

 

facing the whole of myself

to see the vastness of life

the codes are recombining.

 

actions as medicine or poison

the future is here

a deliberate decision

in my body.

 

my time is now

now is the time

now is our time.

 

launched from outdated world views

feeling the world.

digesting this bitter fear

forever hungry for love.

this pain

my medicine

and pleasure and 

power.

 

constantly de-cluttering

listening to this internal alarm

swept off of my feet.

 

time means opportunity.

i slowed down and so did the world.

 

in a liquid universe

still adjusting 

unfamiliar

yet I feel safe.

 

the world shifts as i do

a thunderous sky.

 

at my own 

deliberately slowly

pace.

 

fear and time illusions

heart guides my senses

as love puts a spell on time. 

The Things I've Tasted

The Things I’ve Tasted

internal turbulence and 
haziness
isolation and 
loneliness
I miss
real 
connection.

where do I belong in this new reality? 
this is a time of 
reflection
a change of
routine
a transition.

the trees carry blossoms.

carving out a new life for myself 
realising the power of decisions 
creating to find truth
this is where my 
power lies.

during so much uncertainty 
this pandemic emphasises my 
vulnerability.
i tell myself to be patient. 
when all this is over
i’ll show the world 
how much i’ve got to give
but that time is
now.

i’ve realised how much 
I care
about
people.
about being part of a 
Community.
relating to others
are what ground me
in a
place.

who am I
We
becoming?

we are adaptable creatures.

time to feel
think 
breathe 
rejuvenate

finding my true happiness in
Nature.
in living
and eating 
simply.

comfort
escape
and
strength
from my inner world.

learning about radical self-care
and being
present with myself. 
inspirational online talks
books
bicycle rides
long phone calls with dear ones and
chocolate cookies 
from our neighbour.

the sea breeze is 
sweeter
in the evening
flavored by golden light.

something like
warm honey
offered by the
smiles of
strangers walking by.

thank you to for the 
darkness.

it reminds me how cold
I’ve been
and how much 
Warmth
there is in this world
if one is willing 
to 
receive
it.

A Carpet of Sacred Fish

plumerias

women gardening in their saris 

some flowers grow 

beneath the 

moonlight.

fed by Mother India’s 

sweet nectar

desires being met. 

my stomach 

is full

I’ve returned home.

on an early misty morning

a song quickened 

the words 

lessened

until 

compressed into 

One 

tune

or was it 

Stillness?

my hands in the pond of sacred fish

some said to swim

in sync with chants.

tears fill my eyes

reliving a dream

of floating on water

a carpet of fins

carrying me

Forward.